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Jan. 26th, 2016

(no subject)

I just found this! I'm VERY surprised that I was able to get into this account. Shocked really.

So much has happened! I think my last entry was 2008, maybe. That's 8 years ago.

To be honest, it's kinda silly that I would even write in this thing. It's highly doubtful that anyone would read it, not to mention, it's 2016. I do have a facebook. And an instagram. And a twitter.

It's great though! It's so interesting to see how we communicated socially with the world via the internet, not all that long ago. Less than 10 years ago. It's so different now. Compare lj to facebook, and it's pretty crazy to see how far we've come.

It was nice to have this journal when I was younger. It was nice to be able to come on here and say how I was feeling. I was quite angsty at the time. It's hilarious to read. The problems that I thought I had. The problems that I did have, but I thought would last forever. Wow.

So, I guess if anyone does stumble across this thing, I will update you on my life.

I'm now 26 (ahh!). I came out of the closet when I was 22 or so, when I started to date Rachael. We've been together ever since. This is the biggest change in my life, of course, but it has been one of the best. Our relationship has been, the best I've ever had. With out a doubt. We get along so well. We laugh all the time. We love to do things together, camping, hiking, taking little vacations. We are currently trying to have a baby. Which is going, so so. I was able to get pregnant, but I did have a miscarriage. So, right now we are waiting for 2 cycles and then we will try again. We are getting married in October. We're excited to finally be a family, by law, but we are both nervous about the actual wedding. It's hard to plan one, while so much other stuff is going on. But, we do have the help from my grandma. Which is really really great. We currently have a house in the neighborhood that I grew up in. It's okay. We don't LOVE it, but it is ours. There are a lot of things about the house that I would change, but it's got a lot of our own touches to it, so it's good enough for now. Rachael and I have pretty much the same idea about how our house should look and where we should live. Thank God. Eventually we'd like to move to a house that is in the country, and have goats and chickens, and live off of the land. Or at least have more property. Our house now has a very small yard. Since we don't have any kids yet, we do have a lot of animals that we share our time with. We have 3 dogs, (Biscuit, who I got when I was 17, not sure I ever mentioned him, Coal, Rachael's dog, and Whiskey, who we adopted together), 3 cats, 3 ferrets, 2 rabbits, and 3 geckos. I know, it's a lot.
I think the last time I updated, I mentioned that I was going to become a manager at my work (which was McDonalds). I did that. I finished school. I quit McDonalds (worked there for 6 years!) Now I'm working in healthcare, which I love. It's something I didn't really think I would ever do, but I really ended up enjoying it. I am working at a hospital not far from where I live, currently. I did work at one that was a little ways away, right after I graduated. After a year or so, I decided I didn't want to drive as much, and relocated to a hospital that is only 15 minutes from the house to the department. I'm working in Endoscopy/Gastroenterology. A lot of people think my job is gross. It's not, most of the time. Haha. It's a very interesting aspect of healthcare. I like doing the procedures and I like learning about our digestive system. It's, like I said before, not what I thought I would do, but I like it.

Jesus, it's so hard to bring up so much. It's like I don't know what to say. Lets see though...

AHHHH Ryan, my little baby brother that I would be stuck baby sitting, is 18. 18 years old. It's crazy. He's a grown man. He's working at a Buffalo Wild Wings. Which is awesome for him.

Umm. Lets see. I know I mentioned my friends a lot in earlier posts. I don't hang out with any of them any more. No one, really. I see Mandy sometimes, but she's a couple hours away from me. We see each other when we can. She's married to an awesome guy and they have a home in a city that is PERFECT for them.

I see other people on facebook. I might make a comment here and there. Bri has 2 babies. Stef has 1. I guess I don't know much about any one else. Oops.

It's hard to stay in touch with people when you're off doing your own thing. I've been friends with so many different people since writing my last entry, I think it would be silly to try to name them all. So I'm not going to. But know, that just because I'm not friends with people from high school any more, doesn't mean that I'm a loner. My life just went into a different direction than theirs did.

Currently, we have our basement inhabited by Rachaels little sister. By little I mean she's 22. Her boyfriend is over a lot, who is closer to my age. He's awesome. I'm really hoping this guy lasts with her, because her last guy... no good.

Hmmm.... I'm not sure what else to say. I thought I would update this and let you know how my life is going. It's great. I've had ups and downs, but right now, my life is going really well.

Apr. 21st, 2008

Financial Advice

* always fill out the FAFSA. it doesn't matter if youre rich or poor, fill it out.
* apply for as many scholarships as you can. and, for the kids out there that have less than perfect grades, don't sweat it. there are scholarships for EVERYTHING.
* save your money! ( i know you want that gucci purse. i do too. but you can get a cute purse from target for like 13 bucks.)
* always make sure you're getting the best deal when it comes to university housing. if it's cheaper to live on campus, live on campus. if it's cheaper to live off campus, live off campus. (don't forget to factor in financial aid!)
* if you do live off campus, garage sales and goodwill should become your best friend. i know the couches are gross. that's why there is soap and water and nice clean (cheap!) sheets that work really well as couch covers.
* again, if you live off campus, brush your teeth in the shower.
* get yourself some stocks, a savings account (and try to put in 20 dollars a week--and don't touch it!), a checking account (for what you can spend. and try to get one w/ totally free checking. and no minimum balance. a lot of banks offer this to college students.), and a certificate of deposit (because many have good interest rates, and you can't touch it for whatever period of time you set it for, unless you want to pay a fee. this way you can save money and earn money for saving money).
* if your school offers it, get a meal plan. (and use it.)
* if you have to have a credit card, for some reason, make sure you always pay your credit card payments on time, or your interest rate WILL go up. if you don't (and it was a one time thing), call them and they can maybe lower it. It doesn't hurt to try. also, only use the card for emergencies.
* if you have a cell phone, and a local library (for off-campus students) don't bother getting the internet or a phone service at your apartment. it's one more bill you have to pay.
* make a budget. know what you can and cannot spend. make it realistic and STICK TO IT.
* keep one light on at a time, if you can.
* pay bills on time. don't wait.
* make sure you buy the things you truly truly need. (and remember, you need food and clothing. you do not need expensive food and clothing...)
* don't buy something you wont be able to take care of, or it's just too much work to handle. like a PET. Don't buy a pet if you can't handle it.
* Don't ever be embarrassed to work a job. Unless you're selling drugs or bootlegged cd's or being a prostitute, anything illegal, there is no job too degrading. If it helps you pay the bills, do it.
* If you have extra stuff, sell it. People will buy anything.
* Don't co-sign a loan w/ anyone, because if they screw up their credit, they screw up yours.
* and for apartments, always get one w/ someone you trust. make sure they have a good financial history and make sure they are reliable. you don't want to get screwed because they don't have enough money to pay rent. (My 2 roommates and I, to eliminate this problem, decided to keep all of our rent money -the whole years worth- in a savings account. that way, we'll always have the rent money)
* when you do get an apartment, look for one that is in a good neighborhood and has good quality. get what you're paying for. and, if possible, look for one that includes a utility in the rent. like mine is 775 a month (divided between three people) but that includes gas.

Apr. 13th, 2008

today...

Today was a long, hard day.
I woke up at around 5:30. I saw Ray off to work, and then went back to sleep. It was so cute, how he tucked me in before he left.
I woke up again, and I left for work myself.
I spent the whole day being Craig's bitch, of course. That's what he always does to me when I'm working w/ him.
Anyways, then before I could leave, (at three, after 8 hours of being the bitch) Craig talked to me about becoming a manager.
He wants me to take the assessment test of Friday. I'm a little nervous about it, but oh well.
After work I went to Ray's to kiss him good-bye.
Then I picked up Cassie, and we drove back up to the school.
I dropped her off.
And now I'm here.

Really?

Apr. 9th, 2008

(no subject)

annie bee
daisy lou
lilly bus
elsee anne
aja bleu
blue
rayne
Riann
Alek
Aryanna
lucy
melody
miley (sorry miley cyrus, i actually dig your name. just not you)
van
wes
zoe
bella
bolivia
kailee
haylie
taylor
taelor
ty
davey
tila
baylie
skylar
drake
lexy
kirby
nijole (kneehola)
mylena
byrun
Byrne (burn)
andy
asia
korea
devin
lecture
Azure
Gray
Nova
Savannah
Nevaeh
Dakota
Koti
Alice Blue
Cherie
Mali
Molly
Madison
Jonas
Jonah
Noah
Jude
Judas
Chloe
Emma
Jane
Sadie
Ellie
london
Cameron
Jolie
Maddie
Luca
Dresden
zacharia
ryan
cady
devon
rumer
holland
wynter
shae
emerson
jayde
annaray
marina
emmy
em
winnie
bo
zae
zi
li-na
melanie
Emma
Ella
Liam

Apr. 7th, 2008

My Ultimate List Of Movies I LOVE

-Hocus Pocus
-St. Elmo's Fire
-Wizard Of Oz
-Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory
-Little Nemo
-3 Caballeros
-Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
-Thank you for Smoking
-The cutting Edge
-Across The Universe
-Rear Window
-Pan's Labyrinth
-Terms of Endearment
-Starship Troopers
-Stand By Me
-Number 23
-Dazed and Confused
-IT
-Firestarter
-The interpreter
-Panic Room
-The forgotten
-A midsummer Nights Dream
-Requiem for a Dream
-Blow
-What's Eating Gilbert Grape
-Benny and Joon
-Practical Magic
-The American President
-Finding Neverland
-Peter Pan
-Ferngully
-Harriet the Spy
-Sweeny Todd
-The Simpsons Movie
-The Futurama Movie (Benders Big Score)
-The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
-Superbad
-Juno
-V for Vendetta
-X-Men
-Star Wars
-The Bourne Movies
-Knocked Up
-Secret Window
-Clerks
-Clerks 2
-Dogma
-Labyrinth
-The Last Mimsy
-Corpse Bride
-The Nightmare before Christmas
-Cloverfield
-Donnie Darko
-Almost Famous
-Save the Last Dance
-The Banger Sisters
-The Breakfast Club
-Pretty in Pink
-Sixteen Candles
-For Keeps
-Groundhogs Day
-Dirty Work
-But, I'm a cheerleader
-Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
-The Ultimate Gift
-The Explorers
-Taking Lives
-Mr. and Mrs. Smith
-Psycho
-The birds
-Disturbia
-Shadow of a Doubt
-Little Miss Sunshine
-SLC punk
-Cabin by the Lake
-Skipped Parts
-Clueless
-Cherry Falls
-Back to the Future
-Momento
-Fight Club
-Pulp Fiction
-Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2
-The Royal Tenenbaums
-Spun
-Hard Candy
-Mystic River
-Matchstick Men
-The Forgotten
-Panic Room
-Creepshow 1 and 2

and that's all i can think of right now, but i will add more later.

Mar. 24th, 2008

(no subject)

basically,
me and cassie were talking earlier, and i want to sleep naked w/ my boyfriend.

i just cleaned my room, and i decided,
what the hell? i might as well update on my livejournal since i haven't in awhile.
so here i am.

(: cassie just got one, so, it's sweet to be on here w/ at least one friend (:

Jan. 29th, 2008

just waiting

right now I'm just waiting for Emery. He shouldn't be showing up for another hour, so i really have nothing to do.

when he gets here we're going to the store, then we'll park by the ryder center, than we'll go to judo.

i gotta be straight. i love my judo class. it's so energetic, yet it relieves all my stress.

plus, it's funny to see Emery looking like such a major douche bag.

alright. well, nice update.

WEBSITES.

charlesandmarie.com
newsnet14.com
westelm.com
welldressedhome.com
gaiam.com
justbreathemom.com
justbreathemom.com/going_green.html << a lot of going green websites.
crateandbarrel.com
sprig.com
alishalouise.com
modishoppe.com
asos.com
forever21.com
patinastores.com
cocosshoppe.com
haydenharnett.com
papersource.com
room6.com
gumps.com
cb2.com
shopequita.com
greenergrassdesign.com
raredevice.net
roomandboard.com
pbteen.com
sundancecatalog.com
orangelola.com
ortolanorganic.com
icueyewear.com
wedgeworldwide.com
slingfings.com.au
speesees.com
store.shoporangebutton.com
ballarddesigns.com
thegreenloop.com
vivavi.com
sarahcihat.com
fortesdesign.com
ecofriendlyflooring.com
plumparty.com
m8style.com
atwestend.com
the-n.com
myspace.com
facebook.com
blurty.com
google.com
ask.com
target.com
hm.com
coach.com
amazon.com
ebay.com
bluefly.com
yoox.com
43things.com
kaboodle.com
cardmail.svsu.edu
svsu.edu
cardinaldirect.svsu.edu
thegreenhead.com
modernpoverty.com
macys.com
threadless.com
sciencedaily.com
wikipedia.com
blogger.com
livejournal.com
phonezoo.com
threadless.com
woot.com
passiveaggressivenotes.com
bored.com
i-am-bored.com
humanforsale.com
am-i-dumb.com
justaplant.com
slmetalworks.com
designpublic.com
greenfortune.com
artchestra.com
youtube.com
deathclock.com
digg.com
www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=0&cId=3156339
discovermagazine.com
liveleak.com
www.liveleak.com/view?i=1f4_1179038976
jacksonpollock.org/
etsy.com
naturemanipulated.com
redenvelope.com
fredflare.com
llbean.com
signals.com
pacsun.com
adoptuskids.com
volunteermatch.org
alldesignereyeglasses.com
abercrombie.com
aeoutfitters.com
aeropostale.com
footsmart.com
jcrew.com
petsmart.com
petplanet.co.uk
coolpetstuff.com
terrificpets.com
nextdaypets.com
dailypuppy.com
wellbredpets.com
youtube.com
youporn.com
xtube.com
quixtar.com
dreamproductscatalog.com
apostropheabuse.com
shirt.woot.com
collegehumor.coim
postsecret.com
last.fm
getmakeovers.com
dressupgames.com
mydeardiary.com
metacafe.com
overstock.com
craigslist.com
colrpickr.com
flickr.com
gurl.com
landsend.com
zappos.com
petsalley.com
happytailpets.com
lulusfashionlounge.com
delias.com
amiclubwear.com
endless.com
karmaloop.com
channeladvisor.com
findcoolclothes.com
shoes.com
urbanoutfitters.com
journeys.com
verizonwireless.com
swell.com
neimanmarcus.com
dillards.com
decormyeyes.com
sephora.com
nordstrom.com
moderntails.com
shopping.com
perpetualkid.com

wow.

wow. it certainly has been a seriously long time. i don't know how in the world i knew my passwords, i just did. it's crazy.

anyhow, i guess i should do an update.

My name is Courtney Dawn.
I'm 18-years-old.
Right now I live in a dorm at Saginaw Valley State University.
I have some other blogs that are pretty interesting. I have a blurty, that is mostly private for myself, and then an English Blog. You can see that at http://cdholland.blogspot.com/
I'm only a freshman at SVSU, but i mean, that's a huge change from the original journal entries on here, where i was barely a freshman in high school, if that.
I live with some pretty cool girls, but I miss my old roommates and the way things were then.
First semester Stephanie, (the same Stephanie from all these other journal entries on here) and I lived in the same bedroom, inside of a bigger suite with Ashley, Jana, Megan, Nicole, and Cassie. Now, Stephanie is going to Macomb and I have room to myself. Ashley and Jana also dipped out. So now, the second semester, we have a new roommate named Florence. She is a pretty nice girl and everything, but she seems a little shaky. She is really all about her boyfriend, which i mean, i understand... i was the same way when i dated Alan and Derek. But i'm not like that with Ray now. I mean, High School is over, leave that crazy ass shit at home.
But i mean, she's okay. What really sucks, is that i'm mostly by myself now. When Stephanie was here there was always some one to talk to. However, Nicole is always with her friend Joe, and Megan is usually studying, working out, in class, or on the phone, Cassie is usually with whatever guy she's fucking, at work or getting high, and again, Florence is usually with my boyfriend. I guess it's better this way though, because it means that i can concentrate fully on my school work, which is something that i really need to do because i want to succeed.
i'm not sure what my major is going to be yet. right now it is secondary education, but i'm not sure how much i'm going to like that. i dont think that i want to talk to a bunch of high schoolers all day. i worked so hard to graduate, i just dont believe that i want to go back. I know that people in the criminal justice area dont make a lot of money, especially security workers and police officers, but i would like to do something like that. So i think that i should switch my major over to something like that. I'd be extremely excited about that. I would minor in Sociology if i did, probably. I'm sure i could do something with those. I dont know what yet, but something.
So.... boyfriends. Because i'm still the same Courtney, but a little older and a little bit wiser i suppose. Haha. I do have a boyfriend. His name is Ray Saunders. He did go to Fraser but i met him at my work. Mcdonalds, where i've worked since Junior Year, so since i was sixteen. And just this past summer we became good friends and we started to date. I love him, and i want to be with him for a long time, but we tend to not talk about the future, because we never know what's going to happen. We rarely fight, when we do they're not horrible. They're loud, dont get me wrong, but they dont usually last more than fifteen to twenty minutes, and like i said it's very rare. He treats me like a queen. No joke, like a queen. That makes me happy. Plus he and I like to do a lot of the same things. And he really is SUCH an intellect.
I've never cheated on Ray, and I don't ever plan on it. I love him and wouldn't do that to him. Especially because i BELIEVE (totally weird because i've always had trust issues with EVERYONE) that he wouldn't do that to me. I just don't see it.
Anyhow, I also hang out with this kid named Emery a lot. He's a really cool guy. We're in Judo together so we usually walk to the Ryder Center with each other. He always invites me to go and smoke with him, which is sweet. So i'm not going to complain about him. But remember, i got things to say.
Hah.

Alright, i guess that's all i really have to say for now. I have class at ten in the morning so i should probably be getting to sleep so i don't wake up groggy as FUCK. alright. maybe i'll update tomorrow, you never know. <3 peace.

Jan. 18th, 2007

(no subject)

Updating.

Aug. 21st, 2004

horrible.

just plain horrible.

i have a headache and feel like dying.

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